# Single in Your 30s

> Honest writing about being single: friends, fatigue, breakups, and wanting someone without settling.

Single in Your 30s is for people who are single and done hearing that it is a phase.
Every article is sourced and checked.
Part of the BUMIS network. General information, not therapy.

Publisher: BUMIS (https://getbumis.com). BUMIS: Your Dating Mirror, a private app for seeing your own dating patterns.
Every article lists its sources, author, publish date and last-updated date. General information, not therapy or professional advice.

## Articles

- [How do you want a partner without settling out of fear?](https://singleinyour30.com/wanting-a-person/wanting-a-partner-without-the-panic/): Wanting a partner is normal. Research links fear of being single to settling, so the goal is to keep the want and stop letting fear make the choices. (Wanting a person, updated 2026-10-01)

## By the numbers

- 47% of adults under 50 without children say they are unlikely to ever have them, up from 37% in 2018. Source: Pew Research Center, The Experiences of U.S. Adults Who Don't Have Children (2024; U.S. adults, 2023 survey): https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/07/25/the-experiences-of-u-s-adults-who-dont-have-children/
- Half of single U.S. adults are not looking for a relationship or dates right now. Source: Pew Research Center, A profile of single Americans (2020; U.S. adults, 2019 survey): https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/
- 1 in 3 unmarried adults ages 22 to 35 are actively dating. Source: Wheatley Institute and Institute for Family Studies, The Dating Recession (State of Our Unions 2026) (2026; 5,275 unmarried U.S. adults ages 22 to 35): https://wheatley.byu.edu/0000019c-4505-d61f-a3dc-dd478a270001/datingrecession-pdf
- 86% of unmarried adults ages 22 to 35 expect to marry someday. Source: Wheatley Institute and Institute for Family Studies, The Dating Recession (State of Our Unions 2026) (2026; 5,275 unmarried U.S. adults ages 22 to 35): https://wheatley.byu.edu/0000019c-4505-d61f-a3dc-dd478a270001/datingrecession-pdf

## Further reading (other publishers)

Hand-picked outside sources we point readers to. Linked, not copied.

- [Living a happy single life, with Geoff MacDonald, PhD](https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/happy-single-life): American Psychological Association (Speaking of Psychology). A psychologist who studies singlehood explains what separates satisfied singles from unhappy ones.
- [One Key to Being Happy When You're Single](https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/one_key_to_being_happy_when_youre_single): Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley. Highlights the single factor research ties most closely to contentment while single.
- [Eight Ways to Ease the Pain of Loneliness](https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/eight_ways_to_ease_the_pain_of_loneliness): Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley. Practical, research-informed things to do when the quiet after a breakup gets heavy.
- [There's pressure to be partnered. Here's how to enjoy single life](https://www.npr.org/transcripts/1070682848): NPR (Life Kit). Holds both truths at once: you can want a partner and still build a life you like right now.
- [Can You Have a Committed Partnership With a Friend?](https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/can_you_have_a_committed_partnership_with_a_friend): Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley. Looks at people who build long-term lives around close friends, and what that says about where support comes from.
- [Dating App Burnout: When Swiping Becomes A Chore](https://www.npr.org/2019/06/26/736344196/dating-app-burnout-when-swiping-becomes-a-chore): NPR, 2019. Why apps can start to feel like unpaid work and how to set limits or step back without giving up.
- [The full list, by topic](https://singleinyour30.com/reading/)

## Tools

- [8-question dating pattern check](https://singleinyour30.com/quiz/): runs in the browser, stores nothing, returns one of 9 public pattern cards.
- [Full Speed](https://singleinyour30.com/quiz/full-speed/): You feel it early and you let yourself run with it.
- [Slow Burn](https://singleinyour30.com/quiz/slow-burn/): You wait until you are sure, and you are rarely sure early.
- [Clear Sky](https://singleinyour30.com/quiz/clear-sky/): Not knowing where you stand is the hardest part for you.
- [Open Ended](https://singleinyour30.com/quiz/open-ended/): You are comfortable letting things stay undefined.
- [Home Pull](https://singleinyour30.com/quiz/home-pull/): You are drawn to a feeling you already know.
- [New Horizon](https://singleinyour30.com/quiz/new-horizon/): You go looking for something different each time.
- [Long Goodbye](https://singleinyour30.com/quiz/long-goodbye/): You stay past the point where it stopped working.
- [Clean Break](https://singleinyour30.com/quiz/clean-break/): When it is over, you are gone.
- [Even Keel](https://singleinyour30.com/quiz/even-keel/): No single lean stands out in your answers.

## Experts

- Bella DePaulo (Credentialed source): Research and writing on single life, including people who choose to stay single and live full lives on their own terms. Social psychologist (PhD, Harvard); academic affiliate, Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences, UC Santa Barbara. Profiles: X @belladepaulo (https://x.com/belladepaulo). Last checked 2026-10-01.
- Lori Gottlieb (Credentialed source): What happens in the therapy room, including breakups, dating choices and the stories people tell about love. Psychotherapist; author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and The Atlantic's Dear Therapist column. Profiles: Instagram @lorigottlieb_author (https://www.instagram.com/lorigottlieb_author/). Last checked 2026-10-01.
- Marisa G. Franco (Credentialed source): Friendship, loneliness and belonging, and how adults make and keep close friends. Licensed counseling psychologist; PhD in Counseling Psychology, University of Maryland, where she teaches. Profiles: Instagram @drmarisagfranco (https://www.instagram.com/drmarisagfranco/). Last checked 2026-10-01.
- Nedra Glover Tawwab (Credentialed source, Trending voice): Boundaries in relationships, family and friendship, and how to say what you need. Licensed therapist; founder of Kaleidoscope Counseling. Profiles: Instagram @nedratawwab (https://www.instagram.com/nedratawwab/); TikTok @nedratawwab (https://www.tiktok.com/@nedratawwab). Last checked 2026-10-01.
- Mark Groves (Trending voice): Relationship educator and podcast host who talks about codependent patterns, honesty, and building healthier connections. Profiles: Instagram @createthelove (https://www.instagram.com/createthelove/); TikTok @createthelove (https://www.tiktok.com/@createthelove). Last checked 2026-10-01.
- Matthew Hussey (Trending voice): Dating and love life advice on raising your standards, confidence, and finding a partner, through his podcast, books and videos. Profiles: Instagram @thematthewhussey (https://www.instagram.com/thematthewhussey/); TikTok @thematthewhussey (https://www.tiktok.com/@thematthewhussey). Last checked 2026-10-01.
- Sabrina Zohar (Trending voice): Dating and relationship coach and podcast host who talks about anxious attachment, self-worth, and breaking repeating relationship patterns. Profiles: Instagram @sabrina.zohar (https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar/); TikTok @sabrina.zohar (https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar). Last checked 2026-10-01.
- [All experts and how we label them](https://singleinyour30.com/experts/)

## About

- [All articles, newest first](https://singleinyour30.com/articles/)
- [About Single in Your 30s](https://singleinyour30.com/about/)

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